the universe has surprises up her sleeve...

Some days are just so bad at the start...you wake up and everything hurts. And you remember that your alarm is going off because you have to go and get some shots in your face and neck and spine. Then you have an interaction or get some news that is not to your liking.

And things begin to snowball. And all that you can see is the bad...you're in a bad mood & so all that you're looking for or realizing is the negative around you, within you.

That is what happened to me today. Just hours and hours of ugh. And then, while walking, I looked up at the sky. So blue and beautiful, the clouds so perfect. I looked around at the people surrounding me and how they were hurrying...to catch the bus, the train, with flowers, with iPods in, on phones, not paying any attention to the life and beauty around them. I bought a hot tea and sat down and just felt the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, watched the people and the sky. And I cried...just let it all go.

Then, I continued on my journey home, more at peace with a clearer head.

When I got home, there were people here with cupcakes w/candles in them who sang happy birthday to me. There was someone here with roses for me, and chocolate and champagne for Valentyme's day. There were people who had made recordings into my iPod for me to make me laugh. 

And, I ate a cheeseburger with bacon on it, a cupcake, laughed and talked some shit...read some funny cards. And settled in with my medicine and the Tivo. Read all the text messages I'd gotten telling me happy heart day, responded to emails, answered a few phone calls. Watched some more crappy t.v.

And I realized that when I started seeing the good...when I slowed down and enjoyed what was there and stopped thinking about what was missing, there was more good to enjoy. I was bringing good things into my life by being willing to see them.

And having people who wanted to do nice things for me because I've been having a rough couple of weeks, who have been paying attention to what's been going on and wanted to make me feel better...this made me appreciate that there is goodness...in people, in my circle, in my life. 

Just because it isn't exactly what I want from exactly who I want it doesn't mean that there is nothing...there is plenty, I just have to choose to see this glass as half full. 

So, I'm sitting here by my fireplace, enjoying a glass of Veuve Clicquot, planning the group outing to the opening of Transformations, and focusing on the good. My face doesn't hurt any less, my heart doesn't hurt any less, but the good is outweighing the bad by far!!