Commonality is overrated.

Whatever you are to me - friend, lover, acquaintance, confidante, co-worker, peer...that's okay. That's enough. 

For whatever reasons that I like you, enjoy you, take pleasure in you, learn from you...for those reasons alone, I will try to give you all those things in return.

I do not expect you to like everyone that I like, to enjoy everything that I enjoy, to share or replicate my opinions, tastes, and desires.

We can be what we are to each other even if you dislike my best friend, or are my best friend and dislike my lover, even if you disagree with my boyfriend choices or the choices that I make in regards to my family or my body.

If all the reasons that draw us to each other cannot be enough, I don't know what to tell you.

If you believe that you are impervious to error, or if you do not believe in calculated risk and the Situational Norm...I don't know how to be good for you or to you.

If you like me enough to desire my presence in your life for any reason, I expect you to respect my choices even if you disagree with them.

I expect you to lead with the positive, to protect what we share, to invest in our relationship to the extent that you desire me to do the same. 

I expect that we will disagree...I do not expect that you will use these disagreements as leverage for 'your side'. I don't take sides, I take positions. 

Commonality is overrated. I appreciate people far more for the new things that they can show me and teach me and make me feel than I do any co-signing for smoke-blowing. 

I'll take a less-liked genius over a popular bore any day. 

it feels like static.

It feels like static.

It feels like static.

...to love, and let go, is never the design. / don't know if i want you to see through me. / or go. / because it feels like static when you're here. / it feels like static when you're gone. / it feels like static. / every time. 

i'm supposed to be on a plane right now...

Southwest fuct up my ticket, and badly. I spent an hour on the phone with them this morning, and I'm still in Chicago right now. This is good for some reasons, annoying for others (namely, Foot Night). But, we're geeking out on our comprooters and talking shit to each other from 2 feet away, so it's cool.

Chicago has been awesome. A week of gluttony in every imaginable area. From Phil/the hot dog spot, to Wing Fest, to shopping, to Cuban food, to Smoque (the best BBQ in the Land), to Cuban food, to Polish bakeries, to public laundromats...it's been tons of fun. 

I got two pair of shoes for $10 - total. The place was having a 70% off sale, then I found final clearance b/c they only had my {small} size left. So yeah, that was dope. Then there were all of the other bargains that I got...people with me stay perpetually amazed at how a) people love to give me free shit, b) people willingly barter with me in places {retail} in which bartering is not the norm, and c) people will let me come behind the bar/into the kitchen/etc for pics. 

I'm just fun times, what can I say? 

Anyway, I'll be heading home tonight. I'm ready for the warm but not necessarily ready to go 'home' again. lolz.

epee is cooking for me again...

one of the nicest feelings in the universe is when someone who has known you for what feels like forever, who knows all the gross shit as well as the awesome shit, whom you can tell anything too...when they cook for you from scratch. he's been doing it this trip and it's been so heavenly, yo. 

epee is awesome because he's like my personal teddy bear/vault/god/devil all in one. he knows just about everything there is to know about me...one of the few people in the world that i tell all my grimey shit to. he knows how many people i'm fuckin' with, all the stupid/funny/annoying/weird/crazy/stupid shit that happens when i fucks with them. he knows when i'm sober and when i'm not, knows that my roommate always making comments about how much ass i pull annoys the fuck outta me and knows the text message code when it comes. i know when he's home, when he's drunk, when he's about to bang out a broad, when she's sleeping and he's playing video games. we know each other's family shit, life shit, job shit.

and still, with that much intimate knowledge, which usually in some way taints a relationship at some point, no matter the context of the relationship, we manage to coexist insanely well no matter how close or far away we are. we manage to be amazing friends despite how little we get to actually be in each other's company. 

a lot of times, when i'm not responding to anyone else, when i'm mad at someone, when i'm frustrated, annoyed, whatevs...i'll respond to him. when he's drunk and out with his boys, he'll respond to me. 

if that's not a loving friendship, i don't know what is. 

and he's been cooking for me. fritattas, black bean burgers, bacon, hot tea, sweet tea, fried potatoes...he's been in the kitchen this week, cutting/chopping/dicing/seasoning...and serving it up. that, my friends, is a lovely feeling. 

chicago has been lovely. seeing old heads and newish heads, seeing the big fluffy snow fall, wingfest, clark dogs, phil...all of it so far, and there's more to come. when there is time give a breakdown, i will.

but for now, i am home from the laundromat, dinner is smelling delicious, i took my vitamins and my meds and made epee his theraflu, and i'm about to play in an online poker tournament.

for now...life is great indeed and i am having happy moments. :)

...

lollerskates | wingfest

omg, i'm getting ready to go to wingfest.

some things about chicago :

it's cold.

people drink more when it's cold.

i have a hangover.

there are a lot more chubberly peoples in the midwest.

"what happens in the hot dog spot stays in the hot dog spot."

phil hooked it up w/the free drinks last night...

and a meal for 3 as well as some pitchers of beer was 30 dollars...

so it's cheap as heyall here, which is bomb.

it's been too long since my last visit.

it's good to be with my peoples.

someone broke my vag.

that's the haps thus far. pics soon. :)

my favorite internet convos this week:

# 1 : bff Eric Parson from the Chi™ :

EP : okay, i'm going to go beat off and go to bed

i hafta get up early tomorrow

:(

Me : k. nite.

loves you.

EP : fuck you betch

loves you too.

~~~ this is a fine example of why EPee is my favorite bff evAr...he knows how to make a joke but still give The Love™ (he also tells me i'm the sexay, so he gets bonus points!)

# 2 : friend Maurice, from NY b/w of Barbados :

Maurice : I want to talk to you about removing that damn avi.

I'm sterile now, Ang.

Who can I pass on my good-looking sperm to now?

Me : Maurice! (Rah Rahr © the steve miller band)

I know i may have damaged the world with sterilizing you, but i think i may have done you a financial service. spawn is expensive!

Maurice : Angie....Aaaaaaaangie © Mick Jagger an nem

Barbadians need to impregnate the world to save it.

You've just set the movement back fiftyleven years.

Me : i want to do a blog post that is this conversation. i think i will!

~~~~~~i love Maurice, not only b/c he buys me food when I go to NY, but also b/c he doesn't mind that I speak to him in song noises, but also b/c he's also such good and fun conversations! (he also has a pretty nice chest ladies!!)

so yeah, those are my two favorite internet convos from this week. stay tuned, maybe i'll start recording the voice chats that i do!!

p.s. - mylife is me!